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Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864

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Creator: Mark Flower
Subjects: Civil War, 1861-1865
Date: July 24, 1864
Format: Image/jpg
Original Format: Document
Resource Identifier: A003216
Collection Number: c00005 – Emma Miller Papers
Language: English
Rights Management: Educational use only, no other permissions given. Copyright to this resource is held by Michigan State University and is provided here for educational purposes only. It may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without written permission of the University Archives & Historical Collections, Michigan State University.
Contributing Institution: Michigan State University Archives & Historical Collections
Relation: c00005 – Emma Miller Papers
Contributor: MSU Archives and Historical Collections
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864, Page: 1

Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864

74
Headquarters 1st Brigade Enrolled Militia,
District of Memphis.
Memphis, Tenn., July 24.th 1864.
Dear Friend Emma.
Your Communica-
-tion of 13.th June came to hand a
day or two ago. and it is indeed
needless for me tosay _ Caused me
tofeel Extremely bad _ So bad
Emma that I Can never forgive
myself for my Conduct towards you.
I did not intend to neglect you
as I have seemed to _ But the facts
are Emma my health is _ and has been
miserable all the Spring. So bad
that all ofmy friends _ have been
almost Entirely neglected. Since I Came
into the Army I have Contracted that
fatal disease Consumption _ which
bids fare to Cut my life short unless
Something Can Speedily be done _ The
Constant Exposeure _ fatigue _ &. danger
has been Entirely too much. for my
Physical organization _ and were it
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864, Page: 2

Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864

not for the fact that I now have
the best medical Attendent in the
United States _ I would resign and
go home _
Dear Emma _ I dont never Expect to
be married _ It were folly in the
Extreme to think to think ofsuch a
thing for me _ while in my present Con-
-dition _
ForGod sake Emma _ do not
thinK that I [illegible in original] your affections
to trample upon them, and make you
miserable _ for I swear by my hope
ofHeaven I had no such intentions _
I did thinK I loved you deeply de-
-votedly &.sincerely when in your society _
But achange Came over my Spirits
last summer when reports told me
that you were so intimate with
JamesGowdy _ OfCourse I could not
nor would not Censure or advise
you at that time _ for I greatly preferred
that the woman whom I married
Should pass through Every ordeal
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864, Page: 3

Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864

Calculated to test her affections _
‘Tis true I told you I had
no objections toyour Keeping Com-
-pany with him _ for I preferred
that You Should be thrown among
as many Young men as possible
that I might the better test &. try
your love for me _ Emma I receivd
letters from people in Chickaming
who told me that if you were my
betrothed You were decidedly too in-
-timate with “Jim”. Do not think that
I Censure you _ for today I think
I am more deserving of that than
you _ But those letters did Cause
me todoubt you _ and as a Con-
-sequence _ my love abated in the same
ratio. Until your last was received
I had thought that you did not
love me as dearly as when we
parted _ and I should have answered
your letters in a different strain
but I hoped _ that if you were true
to me _ you would find some one
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864, Page: 4

Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864
Mark Flower Letter: July 24 1864

whom you would love better than
me &. by these means I might spare
your feelings _
Emma It pains me
towrite toyou thus _ but it were much
better that we understand Each other before
further damage is done _ Censure me
Emma _ Condemn me in the strongest
terms _ for I now feel that I have wronged
you _ I am very sorry _ God Knows I
am _ and I am willing to make any
reperation in my power _ will you forgive
me Emma? Will you forget me forever?
I am not good Enough for one as good
as you _ But for God sake do not
think that I did not once love you
or think that I loved you for I can
record a solemn oath that my intentions
toward you were honorable – You
shall Know more some time
Believe me still
Your true friend
“Mark”
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